The Giant is Dead

If I overcame my fear, I know God can do the same for you.

If I Overcame Fear....You Can Too! How I let the fear of speaking a second language cripple me for 10 years and how I got freedom from it. #christianblogger #freedomfromfear

I have lived outside of the United States for over 10 years now. I studied Spanish at a language school in Costa Rica for 8 months. My husband only speaks Spanish, so I speak it all the time.  However, I despise speaking in Spanish in front of a large group of people. I stress, I panic, I freak out. Give me a group of kids and I'm good. Give a small group and I'll do it but don't ever ask me to preach in Spanish. I have lived in complete fear for over 10 years. Fear of man! Fear of being judged and made fun of (which happens all the time). For 10 years I literally have been saying no to God. I can't and won't do it. I won't be made to look like a fool. I can count the number of times I've preached or spoken to a group of adults on one hand.....in the last 10 years.  Why? Because I said no. I can't do it. Even with my husband encouraging me," Kristal, you CAN do it. God uses you. You have a word." I'd say, "No, no, and no!"

Now I look back and see I've been living in a prison of fear for 10 years! How did that happen? I prayed and tried to give it to God but just couldn't get free.

Last Sunday, I faced my giant, and shared in the Sunday morning service at our church. I was kinda forced into it. A week prior Ruben, my husband, said, "You're going to preach next Sunday on missions." My first reaction was, "What??? No, no I'm not." Then he proceeded to say that we were asked to share together being that we are missionaries, here in Honduras, and we are in our mission's month at church. I took a deep breath and thought if I have to do this it's better we do it  together....less time I have to talk. After a few minutes I reluctantly conceded.  Within the day God already confirmed in my heart what I would speak about. Missions is something so near and dear to my heart; I mean it's what I dedicate my life to. Of course I had plenty to say.....I just didn't want to say it in Spanish. 

Through the course of the week I really battled with my fear. I prayed, I rebuked, I claimed scripture.  I asked my mom and sister to keep me in their prayers and my mom sent me this message that really ministered to me.

Stop thinking about being nervous and concentrate on letting the Holy Spirit move and speak through you.
You are capable,
You are loved,
You are respected,
You will be used by the Holy Spirit.

You are human and you will make mistakes at times, BUT the Holy Spirit will use you and touch the hearts of the people and they will not criticize you but love you more.

Let this weekend be the weekend of FREEDOM for you.
To let that fear dissolve in Jesus' name.
He has used you in the past and He wants to use you again.

Once that fear is gone, there's no limits on God's power flowing through you each and every time you speak.

You are HIS precious daughter. You are a child of the King of Kings. He loves you more than you will ever know.

And He wants to use you mightily!!!!

When Sunday morning came around I was nervous but the moment I started speaking the words just flowed. Did I sound like a Gringa? Probably so, but I am one. I'm a Gringa who learned Spanish at 25 years old and was preaching in her second language.  Did I make mistakes? I'm very sure I did. But did I allow the Holy Spirit to speak through me? Yes, I did.  

Did I face my giant of fear that I had been hiding from for the last 10 years? I sure did.

And now, I can confidently say that if someone asked me to speak again the sheer panic and fear that I once had, I have no more.

Thank you Jesus for setting me free.  
The giant is dead!

"The Lord is on my side; I will not fear. What can man do to me?" Psalm 118:6