My Heart Breaks

There is a high price to pay when you love people. When you love people you risk losing them, getting betrayed, hurt, and the list could go on and on. But to love them is worth it even if they break your heart. Before my heart broke I read this passage and as I found out about various things that had happened today it really spoke to me. 1 Peter 1:6-8 "So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while. These trials are only to test your faith, to show that it is strong and pure. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold-and your faith is far more precious to God than mere gold. So if your faith remains strong after being tried by fiery trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the world. You love him even though you have never seen him. Though you do not see him, you trust him; and even now you are happy with a glorious, inexpressible joy."

Yesterday, I did not go to church because I was very sick. However, during that time I spent in prayer and during my prayer time I had a huge burden for a 14 year old boy named Alejandro who used to be in our Castle Club program. About two weeks ago I was told that he had a terminal illness and the Doctors had not given him much more time to live. His family situation was messed up and he lived with his grandmother who was a strict Catholic and really hard on him. She didn't want him coming to church and all. Apparently, he has been on morphine for a while to help with the pain. Yesterday, at church the power of God fell in a huge way. I was not there but I heard all kinds of stories so in the Pastor's meeting today we prayed and shared all the different stories about the miracles and great things God did. So I shared that during this time I had a huge burden for Alejandro. Jacob, the youth pastor, asked me about what time. So I told him and he said that he was praying for Alejandro at the same time. He went up to a lady who happened to be a neighbor of Alejandro and she asked Jacob to pray for him. So we were both praying for him at the same time without knowing it. Shortly after that we received the news that Alejandro passed away at 10:00 am today. My heart broke because I really felt like God was going to touch him but as a friend said he received the best healing he could have. He is in heaven with the Lord. Which is true but still heartbreaking.

It is also hard to hear about friends who have entered into the ministry and done great things for God and decide to leave all that and return to a life on the streets. I keep hearing the same story over and over and I wonder what more can be done to change this cycle. My heart breaks....